I realised this as I was getting the dog and myself ready for his walk just now, so i said to myself that i needed to try the busier roads today, see how it makes me feel and I felt panicky, my heart was racing and I kept my head down to the floor.
Once home, I couldn't shut the front door fast enough. My heart was racing so fast, sweaty
palms and felt an intense amount of panic within.
There was another incident last week when I was out cycling on my new bike. I passed a lady, walking her dog, she was a total stranger to me. As I cycled past her she called out to me " Good way to lose the fat", I laughed through shock and amazement that someone could be so cruel and then I called back to her "Cheeky bitchy". Inside I was sobbing, sobbing my heart out.
It makes me sad to think I hide myself away from the outside world, as I'm frightened of the next comment. I feel my safest when I am with my husband. How do I get more confident, about going out by myself?
I am a good person, worthy of contact with others, aren't I?
How do I learn to love myself, when I am faced with these comments from others?
I have taken the first step, so I can only see what tomorrow brings...
