I have realised since deleting my account, how unhappy it was making me. Or how unhappy I was making myself, looking at others accounts and looking at their photos of their families. Which in turn led to feelings of intense jealousy, empty feeling within myself and constantly comparing myself to others.
It was like I was torturing myself looking at others accounts. Almost like I was saying to myself "Look at what you can't have!" Well you know what, I will have it! I just do not know when it will happen!
I will prove to everyone that I am strong enough to come through all of this!
I won't lie, I was spending far too much time on Facebook and it was becoming addictive! I feel my depression is slowly improving, since deleting my account! I am finding myself not eating as much through boredom, which is a turnaround for the books!
I do think one of the many reasons I was on Facebook, was to talk to friends'' to keep myself company, whilst hubby was out at work. But I have come to realise that these people were/are not my true friends! They weren't/aren't picking up the phone, texting me, emailing me, or even messaging me on Facebook when I was on there. It was all me, talking to others. All one sided. I guess I kind of grew tired of me ALWAYS initiating conversation with others. So I guess I'll find out who my true friends are, if they contact me in any other means other than Facebook!
I am finding myself excited about going away for a few days to see family. Also looking forward to be sat on the beach with a picnic, going for walks, sitting in the garden, going for afternoon tea and just having fun! I am a little anxious about how I will deal with my emotions, but I feel able to tackle these head on :-) I am strong and I am worthy of happiness!
I am loving the fact that my depression seems to be slowly lifting, and being slowly replaced with happiness and laughter. Having lovely weather may be also helping, as I am out in the garden a lot! Who knows? But you know what? I am going to work my hardest for my new found growing happiness and laughter to stay :-)
